The Tiger King

All the youngins are talking about this Netflix show called the “Tiger King,” but none of them would know a real tiger king if it walked up and bit them in the face. I’ve met a real Tiger King, but you’d never believe this story unless you saw it for yourself…

It all started one day when I was working on processing some documents for a Savannah personal injury lawyer’s case. There I was, printing off some courtroom documents and putting our Hancock County stamp on it, when the door to the clerk’s office swings open and a gigantic tiger comes running through the door, growling. I just about flew out of my seat! I was so surprised. 

Thankfully, we’re protected by plexiglass, so there was no way this tiger was gonna get to me, but the security guard just about peed his pants; he was so terrified. It would have been funny seeing this large man cowering on top of the plastic chair as if the tiger was a mouse, but it was honestly just so shocking.

It got even weirder when an Indiana Jones looking fella comes running through the door with a lasso of sorts, ready to, what? Wrassle the tiger?! Anyway, the tiger is standing on one side of the room and Indiana Jones is standing on the other, swinging this damn lasso over his head. 

He swings and swings while the tiger is growling. The first shot he misses and the tiger swings it’s paw at the rope. He quickly pulls it back and gets it up over his head and, swinging it around his head. The second time, the lasso gets caught on the water fountain and the tiger leaps towards Indiana Jones ready to devour him.

I’m just sitting back, snacking on some popcorn at this point. The tiger pounces on Indiana Jones and I’m about to freak out. And maybe now I should call 911, but Indiana Jones starts laughing and petting the tiger on the back as it roars in his face. 

Now I’m confused, because I know this guy was about to be eaten by this damn tiger. He gets up, pats the tiger on the head and says, “I’m fine, I’m fine. We’re going home now.” and proceeds to walk back out the front door after putting the lasso on the tiger like a leash. 

The security guard is still cowering on his chair, and we’re staring at each other like, “did this really just happen?” And we never spoke about it again.

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